Slump and Rant

I haven't been posting because I've been going through a slump. I'm sure we've all gone through one and we all know that they suck. Basically, I've been sitting around, doing nothing for the past week. Absolutely nothing. I was feeling guilty because I said I'd start my diet/workout routine this week, but I realized that I am going through a slump. Slumps pass and I need this week to relax. Sometimes we just NEED to sit around and do nothing. First semester is over and I could not be happier.  Remember that I said I wanted to take last week to study and ACE my two tests? Well, I was full of shit. I barely studied. I think I failed my calculus test and maybe just passed my Italian test. This really sucks because now I have to work EXTRA hard in second semester. I'm on academic probation for Christ's sake, what the fuck is wrong with me!? I am going to use this month I have off to catch up with all my studying. I will go into second semester full of motivation and drive to do well. I will be the university student I have always wanted to be. I will be studious and I will always have time to work out. I am going to do this.

My home situation isn't looking very good right now. My parents are up my ass about everything. I am 19 years old and in university. They cannot keep treating me like I'm in high school. Every time they talk to me, they ask me about school and how much I'm studying. I acknowledge that I never study, but it is none of their business. It's none of their business if I'm up until 2 AM on the Internet. I wish they could just leave me alone to do my own thing. They also think I'm an alcoholic. And because of that, they have revoked my car privileges. I am only allowed the car to go to school and back. I cannot use the car to socialize. If I want to go out, I have to take the bus. The problem is I live too far to take the bus to where my friends are. It's such bullshit. And to top it all off, my curfew is 1:30 AM.  What. The. Fuck. If I get to the club at 11, I'm not going to leave in 90 minutes to get home by 1:30! Complete bullshit. But I can't do anything about it because if I want to live under their roof I have to follow their rules. One night, they flat out told me that they're tired of having to deal with me and that I should just move out. I DO want to move out (BADLY), but I have no money and I've never had a job.

If my parents continue to attempt to control me like this, my ED will come back for sure. The differences between my parents and I are too great. This has been building up over the past few years and it's peaked now. I really do hate my parents. One day, I will leave them forever. The other day, I wanted to go to M's place to watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show with her. I told them I was already on campus, and asked if I could just go over to M's place, watch the show then come home. M lives 5 minutes from campus. My dad was like "NO, no car, you can come home and watch it, anyway we don't trust M, I had a bad dream about her so I don't trust her." WHAT. THE. ACTUAL. FUCK. He doesn't trust M because of a BAD DREAM?!?! I lost it at that point. I am done talking to them. I think they're full of shit. I think my mum suspects that me and M have a thing, so that's her reason for not wanting me to see her, but I AM FUCKING 19, you cannot tell me who I can and can't hang out with. UGH. I ended up hanging out with M most of the day anyway (behind their backs) and my mom bitched at me because I came home at 8:30, when I originally said I'd be home at 6:30, EVEN THOUGH I called and said I'd be late. I have to find a job. I'm nervous about getting one, but I have to do it. If any of you lovelies have any advice, feel free to share! End rant. I hope by Monday, my slump will be over and I can start losing weight again...