Health

I feel like I owe my followers on here an explanation. I started writing this entry on June 28, but abandoned it…Nearly two months have gone by. I can't even describe the strangeness of my life as of late. I am a new person. I think I am recovered. And to think, I did it all by myself. I cannot believe I used to live off 500 calories per day. I can't believe I managed to spend 2 hours at the gym after only eating 200 calories. I have realized that I really am not fat. With my increased eating, I've been building lots of muscle and I look toned and, soon, I will have that Miranda Kerr body I've always dreamed of. I think of this blogging community a lot. I remember how I used to scoff when girls would write about getting better or "living;" look at me now. I remember the mountains of support you all gave me. And I can't help but smile because this whole thing was/is such a pleasant experience. True, ED was/is like an abusive boyfriend, but I still do feel like I'm missing a part of myself sometimes. I'm told that this will get better with time.

I just weighed myself, only for the purpose of this blog. I am about 118 lb. But that doesn’t bother me. I look great! I feel great! I am healthy. And I can eat whatever I want and not gain weight. Literally. I’ve actually trained my body to crave healthy foods, and now, junk food just doesn’t agree with me. (Although, I WILL have cheesecake for dessert if I’m at a restaurant!)

It’s been almost four months since my decision to be healthy. I start school in a little over two weeks. That scares me. I won’t have as much control over my meal times, which might mess up my metabolism. That’s why I’m going to create a schedule based around my classes, so I WON’T mess up my metabolism. Me and my therapist are scared that I might fall back into my ED when school starts. I have mixed feelings about this. It scares me, but at the same time, I am reminded of all the “adventures” I had. Funny, I know. Anyway, I’m about to catch up on all your blogs. I may not comment, but I’m reading. OH, and follow me on tumblr! http://petiteetbelle.tumblr.com/ ALSO: if you have a Pottermore account, add me as a friend: goldmoon77 I’m a Gryffindor!