Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Monday, December 27, 2010
Friday, December 24, 2010
Monday, December 20, 2010
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
I didn't want to have that Nutella. It just sort of happened. I'm trying to figure out why. Here's what I've figured out.
Pure. Fucking. Habit. It's the kitchen. It's become a habit that whenever I go into the kitchen I have Nutella. In psychology, they call this...classical conditioning. Or Pavlovian conditioning.
Pavlov, the psychologist, would ring a bell every time he brought meat to dogs, who would salivate with the meat's presence.
The dogs were conditioned to associate the bell with meat. Soon, the dogs began to salivate with the mere sound of the bell, without the meat: a response that wouldn't have existed without the classical conditioning.
I have conditioned myself to associate the kitchen with eating nutella. I have to extinguish the conditioned response.
On a different note, I don't want to wear leggings to ballet tonight, because my legs look disgustingly lumpy and fat and ugh. I have no idea what to wear. But ballet is my major motivation to become skinny.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Friday, December 10, 2010
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Monday, December 6, 2010
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Will - desire, want. Direction in which the flow is downhill.
Power - I'm not sure. Guesses:
-Volume of flow under your control. I suppose that is the energy you have power over.
-Ability to go against the flow
Happiness is feeling a fast flow.
Will is the direction you perceive as downhill, and thus the direction that you believe will cause you to move fastest when travelled.
Hate is resistance to flow. Resistance to the movement of energy. Why would you resist the movement of energy? If you believe a lack of resistance would take you in a direction that you do not want to travel in, hate is stiffness, flexing, tense, afraid.
Power is your ability to move independent of flow. Power is unnatural, non-oraganic. Power is independence.
That is why hate feels like power.
Power is the ability to move independent of the flow around you.
And hate resists the flow. But it does not create a flow.
Will power is moving uphill
Forcing yourself against the flow.