I went to the mall after working out, with the intention of buying one or two "wife beater" tank tops (those look so good on me). I ended up buying A LOT of things. Ever since I saw Taylor Swift in July, I've been obsessed with sequinned clothes. So every time I saw a sequinned piece of clothing, I had to try it on and if it looked good, I had to buy it. I bought a sequinned skirt and top and a sweater. Then I went to Victoria's Secret and bought the sexiest lingerie. I got the bra in the above picture and a matching panty. SO FUCKING SEXY. (I thought of modelling it for M. She'd love that.) But anyway, now I'm broke. Speaking of M. I've thought about it. And I've gotten loads of input from followers on her and on tumblr. I've decided that I'm just going to take it slow. I'm not expecting anything. I'm not going to push anything. I'm not going to get attached. I'm just going to be normal and see where it goes.
Monday, October 24, 2011
I did really well today! I ate really healthy all day and I went to the gym for an hour. It felt so good! It felt like old times. I was pushing myself at the gym. But then I realized that my mind was blanking out and that's not a good sign. So, I had to remind myself that I have to EASE back into working out. I can't just workout hard core like I used to. I'll get back into it eventually. I am going to keep up this good work for the whole week. Well, for as long as I can, actually. This will help make me look like a Victoria's Secret model.
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Weighed in this morning at 116.2 lb. Lighter than I thought I'd be. I want to lose 5 lb. The problem is that I never allow myself to go to the gym because I haven't done my homework. This weekend, I plan to catch up on all my homework (or at least MOST of it). That way, I can go to the gym (without feeling guilty) five days per week, like I did last year. As well, my sleeping pattern needs to be fixed. I've been going to bed at 2 AM this whole week, which is making me very tired and moody and lazy. When I'm tired, I eat a lot of junk and am really unhealthy, and I won't exercise. So, another goal for this week is to go to bed by 11:30 every night. In the past, I've found that when I get enough sleep, I don't crave as much food.
Last night, I texted M and asked if she wanted to hang out on Monday and she took FOREVER to reply, then asked me if I meant this Monday, and then, a lifetime later (this evening), replied, "maybe, what did you have in mind." In my head, I was like, wow such enthusiasm... Maybe she thinks I'm boring or annoying or something. I dunno. I dunno if I did something wrong or... In any case, I'm not gonna reply to that. This is making me sad, but I won't let it get to me.
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Remember last post, I said something might happen with this cute girl? Well something HAPPENED. I'll call her M. (For future reference, M is on the boyish side, she looks like a cute boy.) On Friday, M, D, and myself went to sit in the sauna and some crazy shit went down. D found out me and M are dealing so she dared us to kiss. At that point, I hadn't kissed anyone in exactly 5 years so I was nervous as hell and after 5 minutes of stalling, I just pulled her close and we kissed. God, I loved it. Other things that went down in the sauna: tit sucking, toe sucking, lap dances, more kissing. In those 30 minutes, we were such typical lesbians, haha. I didn't mind that my first kiss with M was a dare. After we got kicked out of the sauna, we went outside on that cool autumn night, and asked each other awkward questions. D was feeling horny, so she dared me and M to make out. M initiated it and it was so good and she kept pushing me down and then she was groping and rubbing my crotch and FUCK it was good and I was moaning even though I knew D was watching and my hands traveled under M's shirt, damn she's soft...
Monday, October 10, 2011
I've realized that I've been eating too many carbs and not enough veggies/fruits. Maybe that's why I'm always so lazy. I don't know what my weight is, but I'm thinking that I want to lose 5 lb. I'll weigh in tomorrow morning. Lately my eating has been really sporadic. Not good. So starting today, I'm going to make sure I eat every 2-3 hours without fail. I also need to make sure that most of what I eat is 100% whole grain. I've been slacking in that category... The plan in short: whole grains and mostly fruits and veggies.
Saturday, October 8, 2011
Ugh, so it's Thanksgiving here. I'm annoyed because tonight AND tomorrow I have to go to a family dinner. And it's the SAME family, the SAME people!!! What the hell! It's so stupid. Anyway. My eating is getting better. I just need to stop eating Ferrero Rochers. I need to get myself all sexy and lean and toned because I've become popular and I'm a "catch" (and I know it) and that means that I have more of a change of hooking up which means I need to be lean.
It's become really hard for me to get to the gym. I'm so busy with school and my social life. So I suppose it would be easier if I made more of an effort to work out at home. Just because I can't make it to the gym doesn't mean I can't work out at all! I can do Insanity, ab workouts, push ups, lunges... Haha I've just inspired myself.
Monday, October 3, 2011
I had seen these pictures in July, but after looking at them again today, I've decided that it is CRUCIAL that I get my ass to the gym and work out like crazy. I want to be like my princess, Karlie Kloss. I mean, look at how FLAWLESS she is. I swear, Karlie is my ultimate inspiration. For everything.
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Okay. Tomorrow I SWEAR I'm going to the gym. I'm gonna spend AT LEAST an hour there. I need to do a lot of cardio. My plan is to get rid of some fat, first. Once I lose some fat, I can start working on building some muscle. (The way I see it, there's no point in working on building muscle if there's still fat in the way.) I have midterms coming up, which I'm super nervous about. I NEED to do well in them. I'm SO FUCKING BEHIND in chemistry. I actually really hate it. The only reason I'm taking it is because I LOVE biology and most bio courses require stupid chemistry.
OMG. So on Friday night...I went to the gay village downtown. It was so fun. I was with amazing friends (GUYS, SEE THAT, SEE, I HAVE FRIENDS) who totally have my back. We went to a pub for dinner, where there was karaoke, and after we went to a gay/lesbian bar, where there was a drag show. I was pretty disappointed because the majority was mostly gay men. Where were the ladies?! Anyway, we decided that next time we're going to a bar known for lesbians. The dancing was great though, and despite not having hooked up that night, I had a blast. I'm so glad that I recovered. My life would NOT be like this if I still had my ED. Take care, ladies!