Sunday, December 12, 2010

Getting There

I seem to have gotten stronger. Every morning before I drag myself out of bed, I tell myself that I will not binge and why. It works. I am eating more vegetables and resisting the carbs. I seriously have taken in enough carbs to last a life time. I'm focusing on slowly decreasing my intake because I don't want to go STRAIGHT into starvation after all this binging. That'll only slow my metabolism down. By January, my goal is to be able to survive on 100 calories a day, the way I could in late November. Today there was NO food in the house, but I couldn't help but LOOK for food. I stared into the cupboards. Nothing. Opened the fridge. Nothing. Opened the freezer. Nothing. Opened the fridge again, as if something magically could have showed up. Nothing. Opened the cupboards again. Nothing. "I feel like baking," I announced. My sister was the only one home; she looked at me and continued watching TV. I dug up some chocolate from the cold cellar, shoved it in my mouth, opened some thinspo sites, and stopped eating chocolate. I wasn't even enjoying the chocolate.
So I've been obsessing with the Victoria's Secret angels' videos on youtube. I've decided that a goal of mine is to be like the angels. Hot body, beautiful glowing skin, and a personality to succeed. Supermodels in general are a total inspiration. I want that kind of confidence. That kind of beauty, inner and outer. I want a gap between my thighs, for the first time in my life. I want to exhibit complete control over my entire being. So...here's to eating less and becoming the most beautiful I've ever been!
And there's Karlie in the most beautiful Dior dress I've ever seen. Before I end this, I want to shout out to Alex at Skeletal Thoughts. She's has a lovely blog but she doesn't have a lot of followers and could really use your support! If you get a chance, stop by her site to say hi. xo

6 comments:

  1. YOU GO, GIRL!! :P I think you are amazing... YOU are MY thinspiration :-* I love you.

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  2. you're going to reach your goal. it's a fact :) there is sooo little time before the end of the year, this is our last chance to better ourselves before the start of 2011!

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  3. That is a really good plan and I'm glad you're avoiding the binges now.
    The Victoria's Secret models are perfect and their bodies are just beautiful. We can all be like them if we work hard enough.
    You'll do it!

    Stay strong, my love.
    Merely

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  4. Everyone always mentions the victoria secret angels, I think I'll check them out :) 100 cals a day shows amazing strength hun good luck, and well done for doing it before! xxx

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  5. Girl, you're so amazing. I know I say this all the time, but I really believe it. You're this gorgeous, intelligent and genuine package all wrapped up into one. I have been obsessively watching any Victoria's Secret-related video I can get my hands on. I completely know what you mean and why you aim/strive to look like them. They are literally the sexiest women on Earth. My goal is to look like Miranda Kerr. Which is amazing, because apparently I have her body - just with extra fat. Shit, I am rambling again. Sorry. I've been doing that a lot tonight. I think it is a lack of sleep. I apologise. <3

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  6. I too have been obsessing over the VS commercials. I know how you feel. :/

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