Thank-you, Isobel and Adeline for your kind words. I would like everyone to know something. After google-ing site after site, I have, uh, "self-diagnosed" myself with bulimia. How sick. I've realized that as long as I eat, I am not happy. When I eat, I cannot focus on anything. I am going to be completely honest with everyone. Every time I eat (without purging), every time, I have this obsessive compulsion to work out. It's like I need it so bad, like a drug. My heart starts racing and my breathing quickens and I start panicking and I have to drop and do 20 pushups, squats and lunges, after which I feel better. Calmer. I have to, or my heart doesn't calm the fuck down, and I can't think of anything else. If I don't do some sort of exercise, I can't focus. On anything, other than my racing heart.
I am going to change this bulimic thing. It's so stupid. Tomorrow it shall be as if it never existed. Tomorrow, I won't even enter the kitchen. I won't even leave my room, except for the bathroom. Tomorrow, I change everything. For the better. Because, mark my words, come Christmas, everyone will stare.
That song is for all of you, lovelies. I am forever grateful for your support.
i'm sorry that you're bulimic hun. it sounds so tough - i couldn't even imagine. i hope you can work through it and we're all here to help you darling xx
i understand the exercise compulsion. you can imagine the hell i have been in not being allowed to work out because of my surgery. you're right dear, they will stare. but they will stare either way, even if you don't meet your goals. because you're truly beautiful.
I am terribly sorry to hear of your bulimia. perhaps you should see a specialist, just in case. They can be really helpful, and you may not even have bulimia(although it sounds like you may). i hope everything turns out for the best. Be strong. x (yes please, some advertising would be lovely. Thanks for asking)
i'm sorry that you're bulimic hun. it sounds so tough - i couldn't even imagine. i hope you can work through it and we're all here to help you darling
ReplyDeletexx
i understand the exercise compulsion. you can imagine the hell i have been in not being allowed to work out because of my surgery. you're right dear, they will stare. but they will stare either way, even if you don't meet your goals. because you're truly beautiful.
ReplyDeleteIt's great that you believe in yourself! I'm sorry you're having a bad time of it right now but things will get better. You control your life.
ReplyDeleteOh wow, I like that song.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad that you see the problem and are now willing to fight against it, that is reall great, you know.
Hang in there, honey and don't let anything get you down.
Everyone will be impressed at christmas!
Merely
good luck hun :) stay on top, and everyone -will- stare! <3
ReplyDeleteBulimia sucks, I know. But i´s great that you are willing to fight to get rid of it, I´m doing the same thing =)
ReplyDeleteWe´ll make it sweetie!
xx
Youcandoit!!! You're so determined. I know you can!
ReplyDeletexo
Victoria
Best of luck, I know you can get through this.
ReplyDeleteWe're here for you.
xx
I am terribly sorry to hear of your bulimia. perhaps you should see a specialist, just in case. They can be really helpful, and you may not even have bulimia(although it sounds like you may). i hope everything turns out for the best. Be strong. x
ReplyDelete(yes please, some advertising would be lovely. Thanks for asking)