Sunday, December 5, 2010

Will Power

My younger sister is starting to work out. It's kinda freaking me out because she's the "happy daughter," the cute one, the one that eats ice cream every night. This morning she was like, "I want to be like Alisha, she's healthy." My mother scoffed and said, "Alisha's not healthy, Alisha's mad. She doesn't know how to live." Fucking bitch. I love my life. Anyway. I just had 2 slices of bread and butter, which was NOT planned. But not a binge and not a big deal (today). Tonight is grandpa's 80th bday hall party. I'll only eat salads. Promise. I want to share with you all this little something that an old friend of mine posed a very long time ago. It's up on my bulletin board and never fails to inspire me.

Will - desire, want. Direction in which the flow is downhill.

Power - I'm not sure. Guesses:
-Volume of flow under your control. I suppose that is the energy you have power over. 

-Ability to go against the flow

Happiness is feeling a fast flow.

Will is the direction you perceive as downhill, and thus the direction that you believe will cause you to move fastest when travelled.

Hate is resistance to flow. 
Resistance to the movement of energy. Why would you resist the movement of energy? If you believe a lack of resistance would take you in a direction that you do not want to travel in, hate is stiffness, flexing, tense, afraid.

Power is your ability to move independent of flow. 
Power is unnatural, non-oraganic.
Power is independence.

That is why hate feels like power.
Power is the ability to move independent of the flow around you. 

And hate resists the flow. But it does not create a flow.

Will power is moving uphill


Forcing yourself against the flow.

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15 comments:

  1. MelissaDecember 5, 2010 at 5:00 PM

    That is so inspiring.
    stay strong dear!

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  2. AnonymousDecember 5, 2010 at 5:14 PM

    Love the photo :] and I totally understand your concerns about your younger sister. I'm pretty sure that mine threw up in the sink after working out one day because my mom came home and found traces in the sink and it wasn't me... the last thing that I want is for my baby sis to suffer through what I do :[ I just want her to be happy forever and ever. She's one of the few people in the world that I truly love, and it hurts so much to think that she would ever hate herself. Come to think of it, it hurts to think that any little girl would hate themselves the way we do.

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  3. VictoriaCrimsonDecember 5, 2010 at 5:17 PM

    Hahaha, "Fucking bitch. I love my life." I giggled :) Aw, I can empathize with the sister situation, trust me. Good job today, I'm glad the bread & butter wasn't a roadblock for you! :D

    xo
    Victoria

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  4. not.quite.anaDecember 5, 2010 at 6:07 PM

    i love that little blurb. what an interesting way to look at things :) i wish you all the will power in the world <3

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  5. PosieDecember 5, 2010 at 6:44 PM

    Oh my goodness, I live in TERROR that I will fuck up my sister like me :( I hate it. I wouldn't wish this life on anyone haha :P Not my worst enemy.

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  6. amyDecember 5, 2010 at 7:14 PM

    definitely inspiring. i love how organic the thought-process is...figuring everything out.
    maybe your sister just wants to be 'healthy'? maybe she won't take things to the extreme.
    x

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  7. Alice DDecember 5, 2010 at 7:57 PM

    hopefully your sister is that! healthy!
    that was really inspiring by the way!:)

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  8. NathaniacDecember 5, 2010 at 8:56 PM

    You have will power :) I hate it when parents are like that, its so fucking annoying. I understand how you feel about your sister.
    Yea, I was quite surprised and happy when i saw the loss. Must have been the vigorous excercising and fasting. I'm 5'8" so my BMI is 18.2 :)
    I hope all goes well for you
    Pce, Nate

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  9. LichenDecember 6, 2010 at 12:45 AM

    Glad to hear you're not skipping out on the family dinner again. But too bad it doesn't put our behavior in perspective when we worry about others or ignore the positives of our influence. I found a box for Hydroxycut in my sister's bed a few years ago and wanted to slap her.

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  10. QuinnDecember 6, 2010 at 4:13 AM

    "That is why hate feel like power"

    I absolutely love that. It really strikes me, it was the only thing that really stuck out to me. Probably because this is a problem of mine, feeling like hating someone or something makes me better than them. I don't know why but I should probably look into it, yes? Haha.

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  11. AnonymousDecember 6, 2010 at 5:10 AM

    I understand your concerns, but if she thinks all you do is healthy she probably doens't really know, so she won't do thinks like that, either. I really hope she'll be healthy.

    I love that little text, it's totally inspiring!

    Stay strong, my love.
    Merely

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  12. robyngabrielleDecember 6, 2010 at 5:11 AM

    I loved that little pep talk! I hope everything works out ok with your sister. Nothing wrong with 'healthy' but I don't think any of us can claim that we are healthy!

    Will power is moving uphill. I love that.

    x

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  13. AlexDecember 6, 2010 at 1:08 PM

    Love the quotes there :) really inspiring. And well done on the intake stay strong :D xxx

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  14. struggle2bethinDecember 6, 2010 at 2:04 PM

    This was great. I'm gonna print it and put it in my journal. Also, the picture is amazing it really goes with the poem.

    Glad you're not skipping the family dinner again too. It'll be good. I almost feel comforted at family dinners cause I look around at what everyone else is eating and I tell myself that I can eat one fourth of what they're eating and still be as happy as them.

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  15. Depressed Skinny Mess.December 6, 2010 at 4:28 PM

    Fantastic quotes :) It shows strength that you are going to your grandpas dinner :) Remember that! xx

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