I tried to do my usual push-ups today, but I've put on a substantial amount of weight, thus my arms were unable to push my fat body up as easily. I fought the urge to self-induce vomiting today. However, that didn't stop me from bingeing. I don't want to sicken anyone with my moments of gluttony. I've realized that the reason I was bingeing was because I wasn't focused. I was not using my brain properly. You see, I have been so pre-occupied with studying for my Biology exam. I need to always bear in mind my goals. There should always be a place in my mind for weight-loss. I can't crowd the place with Biology and let myself eat mindlessly. I need to make a list. New year's resolutions and the like. I'm going to get to that immediately.
I have a lot of issues that need to be fixed and I am determined to fix them. I am so scared and it's going to be so hard. But I need to try; I need to make positive changes in my life. I think another reason, I've been so lazy is because being at home for this break has out me in "holiday mode." Not much to focus on, not always on the go... All this has made me realize how much I love university. The gym. Classes. Hotties. Walking around campus burning cals. Despite the work, I love it, I really do! I actually miss going to classes and learning new things! EVEN Economics. If I don't pass this Biology exam, I can't take it in January; I'll be stuck with Sociology. I really fucking love Biology and learning about the origin of life and animals and genetics and Darwin...
Yes, there is an abundance of Karlie Kloss photos on my laptop. So, uh, tomorrow's gonna be a binge-free day. I have to try. Oh, and Biology is the reason I haven't been commenting on your blogs as much. I've been reading, though! 5 more days until the exam...
Karlie is GORGEOUS. And these pictures are especially motivating. You sound so mentally strong and prepared for this! I know you can apply it to your life, and I totally understand how hard it is when you have to divide your attention between losing weight and school/boys/home etc. I've realized just how much it affects me recently- but taking it one step at a time like you are by promising yourself one binge-free day is the perfect way to do it. I know you can, just prove it to yourself :D
ReplyDeleteGood luck on biology! Study up, it'll keep you occupied and not nibbling :) So much love!! ♥
xo
Victoria
ahh biology is a killer, i don't blame you for putting weight loss at the back of your mind! but i know when all the tests are over you're going to come back, stronger than ever!! oh and i'm terrified of getting into "holiday mode"... pleaseee just let us lose some weight before the year ends!
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ReplyDeleteYour determination is inspiring. You will certainly be able to fix your problems. Good Luck on your exams!
ReplyDelete*edit* sorry, I made a mistake so I deleted and re-posted the comment.
it is wonderful that you love university. fuel that passion and love, and you'll be absolutely fine. i know you will, you're so intelligent. <3
ReplyDeleteLove Karlie! She is sooo beautiful!
ReplyDeleteBiology is freaking amazing..
You can do this! Just stay strong and keep the right mindset.
:)
Oh that girl is amazing!
ReplyDeleteAnd you are amazing, too. You can stop binging, I believe that. It's just something that makes you unhappy, so it's not worth it at all!
Keep on going and stay strong, love!
Merely