Weaknesses

I have been thinking about my weaknesses. Food weaknesses.
In particular, chocolate. As I put piece after piece of chocolate in my mouth, I think about how wonderful chocolate is and how everything is wonderful and how chocolate makes everything better. Soon, however, the feeling of fat appears in my stomach. Oh my GOD, I can feel myself getting fatter. I should stop. But it tastes sooo good. I should really stop. Okay, this is the last one. Holy shit that was good, maybe one more. Dammit. Must. Stop. Eating. Chocolate. I do stop before I go overboard.
Back to my topic of weaknesses. I am thinking that the only way to prevent me from indulging, unnecessarily, into things that are not healthy for me or are fattening is to not have them lying around. I'm just going to tell my mother to stop buying chocolate chips. If I want to make cookies, THEN I'll buy them. But don't keep buying them! I mean, she'll probably buy Toblerone bars instead, because she wants me to eat shit and gain weight, but I'll throw them away. My mom is so fucking annoying when it comes to my eating.
Weighed-in at 103.4 lb yesterday. What else is new. I hate this plateau. But I suppose it's better than gaining. I'm gonna cut down on my meat-intake. I'm also gonna up my veggie intake. I'm gonna do everything exactly the way I did the week that I lost 4.6 lb. My clothes are fitting nicely! My shorts and pants are loose! And my thighs are looking slimmer. There's still LOADS of work to do my thighs and hips, but progress is being made. Goal for this week: 100-101 lb by Friday 23?

New Start

So, after last week's disaster, I am starting fresh.
I was good yesterday, and today so far.
I've decided to start the ABC diet today. I won't be too strict with it. Like, a few calories over is fine.
Today's intake will be less than 500 cals.

I have my goal constantly in mind. Constantly. It helps.
I think about what I want, how bad I want to be thinner, how lovely I'll look when I'm 93 pounds...

My mom did grocery shopping yesterday and, BOY, she came back with flours, chocolate, chocolate chips, and loads of butter...HOPING for me to bake something. She wants me to bake something, like cookies or white chocolate brownies. She loves that stuff (or maybe she knows I'll eat it and thus gain weight). She even mentioned again today that she'd just LOVE some chocolate chip cookies baked by me.
Blah blah blah, I said I would try when I find the time, for now I've got school work.

I really don't want to bake, because I know that I'll end up having some of whatever i bake! It's bad. The sad part is that there's 4 packages of chocolate chips, 12 ounces of white chocolate, and two new bags of flour in the cupboard. This situation plus my mom makes me feel so guilty about not baking.
BUT:
This is not about my mom. This is not about baking. This is not about the feelings of others.
This is about ME. This is about what I want. This is about what I can control.
I need only think about myself, if I want to reach my goals.

Hmm, I feel hunger coming on...that's my cue to eat something. Something SMALL.