Starting 2-4-6

Inspired by a friend who lost 15 lb in two weeks by doing the 246 diet, I've started it. She told me that the best thing is to plan out meals and eating times for each day. So that's what I've done, and honestly, I am so excited. My eating plan is so pretty and yummy and easy to follow and completely fool-proof! As well, I've come to terms with hunger and how it's something that comes and goes, and it's just something that I'll have to deal with. Hunger doesn't tell me when to eat; my eating plan does. Today's a 200 day. I've had muesli, yogurt, and raspberries for breakfast (85 cals) and I just had a yogurt (35 cals). I'm not sure what I'm gonna do, but I can either have some egg whites or an apple for dinner. I am going to STICK to this diet. My friend managed to do 17 days without messing up. I'm going to attempt cooking, like roasting vegetables or spaghetti squash, just to make things fun. Imagining myself when I'm thin is so exciting! I can't wait to succeed.

This is Karlie Kloss and she is my favourite model. Ever. I've been so tempted to do a Karlie post with the hundreds of photos I have of her, but she's just so lovely, you have to post her sparingly...if that makes any sense...I'm gonna tag all the posts I have with Karlie from now on, haha.

Plan A

I am a complete fuck up.

Tomorrow is the start of a new week.

A new plan.

I need to get over my fear of hunger.

Starvation is part of the process.

I have been building up my running endurance, I can build up my hunger endurance.

Tomorrow: no fat, no more than 500 calories, no snacking. Repeat daily.

Meal plan: fruit muesli (150cals), ww bread+cheese (110), yogurt(35), apple(50).

Allowed: Light Mocha Frap from Starbucks, other fruits and veggies.

Don't mess up. Please.

I need this. I need to prove to myself that I am capable of accomplishing something.

I need to know that I have ultimate control over my own life.

I need this, more than you can imagine.

I am going insane.

The Plan to Fail No More

The plan is to fail no more. That's the plan. I cannot keep telling myself that I can start over tomorrow. I have to lose AT LEAST 10 pounds by my birthday on May 24. I have never been a screw-up. I have never been known to be a failure. I'm ALWAYS the winner. I am scared that I am losing it.

I WILL NOT lose it. I am a winner. I am a go-getter. I am going to DO THIS because I NEED to show myself that I am capable of accomplishing something. That I am capable of doing something for myself. Lately, I've been feeling out of control, putting off studying, exercising, school, piano...I've been procrastinating. I'm slipping. I feel that if I can shape up, get into shape, and lose these pounds then I will be able to do anything. I will have the motivation to do better in school and such.

I will starve from now on. I'll eat bare minimum. I will have to DEAL with the hunger because I NEED to do this. I will prove myself to myself. This is for ME and no one else. I need bony arms, protruding hip bones, a rib cage that juts out, slender thighs, concave tummy, narrow hips...

I need this.

I've gained so much this week...I'm dreading weigh-in tomorrow morning...