bad habit

Yesterday night AND tonight, I had mini binges.
Lots of bread with nutella and chocolate, causing me to mess up ABC diet.
Actually, causing me to mess up in general.

Eating at night is THE worst...
I never thought I was the type...

UGH, I MAKE MYSELF SO MAAADDD!!!

ABC?

I really need to get these pounds off.
I gained 6 pounds in a month...
I'm at 106 lb.

So I'm trying to limit myself to 500 of less cals per day.

However, I KNOW that I am completely capable of losing 6 pounds in under 2 weeks.
I have high metabolism, so I SHOULD be about 100 pounds in about two weeks.
Let's see how this goes...

I've always been scared to try the ABC diet. But I'm thinking it would be the best thing for me if I want to be 93 lb by June 21.
Dammit, I'm so scared.
I'm scared I'll lose control.
I'm scared of being ugly.
I'm scared of becoming fat.
I'm scared.

Intake so far:
B: Strawberries, Plain Yogurt, Muesli, Milk =100
S: Fucking Timbit= 50

L: Apple= 70
S: Dark Chocolate Chips=40, Pineapple=30

D: Chicken, Green Beans=105
S: Blondie=35

Total: 430

Went to Tim Horten's for 3rd period spare with two girlfriends. Felt dumb for just getting a green tea. Therefore, ordered two timbits, as well. Ate one, tossed the other.
Could have avoided the chocolate...Not sure where my head was...

So far: not so bad.

Being home alone means I can fake eating.

A challenge

I think it would be a good idea for me to put my intake/outtake on this thing sometimes, just so I can keep track.
Also, it might be a good idea for me to PLAN things out. For example, plan out what I'm going to eat all day, daily routines, etc.

I kinda ate too much today, despite the fact that I told myself not to, despite the fact that I worked out so hard, despite the fact that I WANT to get skinnier...
What a loser I am...

I start school tomorrow after two weeks of spring break.
I also start a new challenge. A challenge to lose weight. I want to be 93 lb by the end of June. That's about 11 pounds to lose. It's completely do-able.

SO:
Starting tomorrow, I restrict my calories. I will exercise at least 3 times each week. I will only allow junk one time per week.

I will be the skinniest I have ever been.
And I will be beautiful.

Yuck

Ew, binged today for the first time in a long time.
Toblerone bar, cheese, donut holes, popcorn, Nutella+bread, pizza...
Gross.
That's a lot.
A lot of SHIT!

Well, it's one day. Tormorrow will be back to routine.
Eat clean and minimally. Work out.
I'm on my way to 93 lb.

Think thin. Think beautiful.

Mindless

I've been contemplating getting another blog, for my specific "ramblings."

As in, ED, ana, etc...

I just need a place where I can write about this stuff and get feedback.

I really just want to be perfect.
Get into shape. Toned. Beautiful. Skinny.

Ultimate Goal Weight: 93 lb.

I want that Marchesa dress to be my graduation dress. I want that body first.