I was watching Peal Harbor (
I HAVE NOT FINISHED IT YET, PLEASE DON'T SPOIL IT!) and I am really really sad. I mean, who would fall in love with me? What sort of boy wants to be with a girl who is afraid of food, who sticks her face in a toilet every once in a while? This is really awful. Every night, I have Nutella. I'm sick of it. I still manage to get away with less than 500 calories a day, but my body is going to
store the Nutella. I don't want it to be this way. So I'm through. I am never eating Nutella again. It's not okay. It's not part of the person I want to be. I was thinking the other day that in 10 years, I would be ashamed of the person I am now. I don't want that. I want to be PROUD of myself 10 years from now. I want to be strong and beautiful. I want to be able to look back and see that I was good at something and that I succeeded.
I want to lose 10 lb so I can have the confidence to talk to people, be able to wear cute clothes, attract boys... I want to be dashingly beautiful. I want to make boys look twice. I bet I could be real charming and sweep a boy off his feet, if I could just get the confidence. From now on, I will simply focus on getting to 100 lb. That's all. Nothing else matters because everything else centres around being 100 lb. I hope you are all doing well. xo
Nutella should really be boycotted around these parts. Fuck it and its obesity-enhancing properties.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the advice, girlllllliiiie!
xo
Victoria
I want all of those things as well. I want to be worthy of being loved. I believe in you, we can make ourselves outstanding.
ReplyDeleteLove that movie! You can definately do this! You're so amazing:D
ReplyDeleteYou know the saying; you need to love yourself before you receive love from others (at least that's a paraphrase of it). It's true.
ReplyDeleteI've been with my guy for over 4 years and I feel such strong love when I'm thin and happy. Inner contentment is key.
Prince Charming is out there. You just have to be ready to meet him.
I hope to hear news of loviness soon. I'm with you all the way. You can do it.
B. X
The Nutella factory should really make the stuff in lil packets, like ketchup, but Nutella! Portion size!
ReplyDeleteIt was the fact that I wanted to be proud of myself that finally helped me recover. I know that's not what you want, but I do hope you can use that idea to get what you want. It is powerful.
ReplyDeleteNutella is the one thing that gets me every time in my school's cafeteria. It sits there attracting me and sometimes it's just too hard to resist. It makes it easier knowing others struggle with the same food weaknesses, you've inspired me to end the Nutella fad that occurs every time I eat dinner. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteOn a side note- I just created a blog and the support would really help, follow me?
Also- Your pictures are fantastic, by the way.
If in 10 years you look back on your eating disordered self, I hope you aren't proud of yourself for losing weight. Do you really want to be struggling with this in 10 years? Wouldn't it be better to look back and learn from the experience, and maybe be proud of yourself for overcoming an ED. I don't mean this to be rude at all. I have suffered from anorexia and now bulimia, and I know that having an eating disorder isn't a choice, so I don't want you to think I'm just being an ignorant asshole. Do you really think that if you lose 10 pounds, you will be more confident? Because in my experience, that's not how eating disorders end up working out. I really do apologize if any of this offends you or sounds rude, I guess it just makes me sad to see blogs like this where girls are encouraging each other to be unhealthy and eat under 500 calories. I hope you think about it, and maybe think about getting help.
ReplyDeleteIn the years that I was really depriving myself from food, I ate a spoon of nutella often, as if my body screamed for it. I still eat too little calories, but for some reason I never have the urge for things like that. I have chocolat in my kitchen, but is has been lying there for over a month now, untouched.
ReplyDeleteI quit eating sugar a few years ago, and I feel that I never crave for sugary foods anymore.
Just try to stay away from nutella for one or two weeks and you'll notice it's easier to stay away from it.
xx
Nutella. Love it. Hate it. Want it. Need to get rid of it.
ReplyDeleteYou're doing the right thing getting rid of it.
Also, you will find that guy. Don't worry cause it hasn't happened today because it could happen tomorrow.
Just stick with your plan and make it happen. =)
you're right - a guy won't want to be with a girl who starves and purges and all that crap because when you love someone the idea of them hurting themselves is so abhorent you can't stand it. But if you are strong, witty, wise, beautiful, fit and healthy - you know sooner or later they'll be falling at your feet!
ReplyDeleteYou won't be alone forever my dear, and believe me as soon as you get with someone you'll miss being single! ha.
Sorry I haven't really been commenting - I've been in a weird place recently and kind of left blogger for a while. I'm back now though :)
Love you sweetheart xx
100 pounds is a nice number- you can definitely lose that 10 pounds! You are still young enough to become the person you want to be, the person on whom you can look back over the years and be proud of. Food doesn't control you and Nutella doesn't control you- you've got what it takes to get down to your goal weight. And, although you might not see it now, you have that confidence somewhere deep inside of you, you just have to let it out!
ReplyDelete♥
Nutella is evil! Ha I know exactly how you feel. Stay strong girlie you can reach your goals!
ReplyDeleteYou can do it hun, just be strong enough. And for the record, I understand the nutella addiction - dear god a pot of nutella and a teaspoon... its so bad its good. <3 And you know what, you -will- find happiness
ReplyDeletei just realized how sad and pathetic we all are...
ReplyDeleteI went to boarding school and Nutella was the staple of our diets...
ReplyDeleteI have nominated you for the Versitile Blogger Award
Oh baby girl don't be sad =( Everything you want in your life you can accomplish. You are a strong and smart girl whose perfect guy is waiting out there. Keep hope alive.
ReplyDeleteI can't stand Nutella, that's one of the foods that make me gain A LOT of weight overnight...
ReplyDeleteBut stay strong! I know you can make it to 100! <3 <3
I nominated you for the versatile blogger award girlie:)
ReplyDelete