Friday, March 18, 2011

Two Weeks B/P Free

Literally, I haven't been on Blogger. Life has been so busy. I'm trying to use my time wisely and be more productive. Learn new things. Read books. Go outside. Take pictures. Study harder. Sleep. Of course, I am full of shit when it comes to studying. I get so exhausted by the end of the day that I don't study. I did not put even ONE hour of studying for my Economics test, which I probably got zero on today. But I had time, hours and hours of time. I have a French test on Monday, which I'll be better on. I'm prepared. As predicted, my mom freaked out when I told her I wanted to lose 15 lb, but whatever. I told her she can nag me about eating all she wants because, at the end of the day, I will do what I want to do with MY life. My parents are sooo concerned about me. I am kinda kicking myself for telling them, but I don't want to become psychotic in the future. Social anxiety sucks. Everyone around me has friends and can talk to people. I am going to try to fix my problem while I've still got time.
These days, exercising is my life. I exercise hard-core everyday. And I'm getting stronger. I can feel it. That's why I don't understand why I'm so exhausted by the end of the day. Maybe it has something to do with eating less than 500 calories a day...haha. I'm working on being able to do 10 consecutive pull-ups, with zero assistance. Right now I'm using 30 lb of assistance and I work my way down in 10 lb increments. I can also do about 30 real push-ups in a row. I look and feel great. HOWEVER, the numbers aren't changing on the scale. The numbers always piss me off. So I'm going to try to weigh myself only once a week from now on. I KNOW I'm getting thinner, I can feel it and see it, but I'm probably building some muscle, too.
My main goal is to get thin and toned for summer. I gave up bread for Lent and I have not binged or purged in two weeks! That's incredible. Obviously, I only have one trigger. But the thing is...my sacrifice has made me feel more spiritual and I want to be more spiritual, as well. Like every time I wanted bread, I stared at it and thought, "I sacrificed this for Jesus." And I walk away. My ONLY problem: Nutella. Yup. I have a whole spoon of it at night. Bad. I'd be perfect without it. So gradually, I'll stop eating that, too, just like the bread.

10 comments:

  1. Perfection is an unattainable goal, an illusion. As soon as you hit that goal you'll either be completely lost or re-adjust how you define perfection. I don't believe in God but you seem to. Well, God made us in their image, and they are supposedly perfect. Which means that, no matter what we do, how we look, how we act - we are all perfect. x

    ReplyDelete
  2. I understand your pain
    nutella=nectar of the gods ;)

    ReplyDelete
  3. i'm jealous of you not binging/purging for 2 weeks!!! congrats!! i'm working on that as well!

    don't forget muscles weigh more than fat, and as you are working out pretty well, you're gaining muscles AND losing fat!

    thanks for the inspiring post :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Ahh you're always so strong. The numbers are most likely just the muscle like you say, I bet you look amazing. Stay strong, and also I have something on my blog for you <3

    ReplyDelete
  5. Dude, I understand your school stuff. It's almost impossible to be focused on school and be obsessed with counting cals. I'm just now starting to try again, after 3months. Sending you skinnies darling!

    ReplyDelete
  6. You probably are just building muscle. Congratulations on the lack of B/P. You're doing amazingly <3

    ReplyDelete
  7. congrats on the successes. Thin and strong? That sounds like perfection to me. Keep it up love.
    xx

    ReplyDelete
  8. You're making all of us so proud! Keep it up.

    ReplyDelete
  9. 2 weeks? That's awesome! I wish we could all live lives where b/p didn't exist- mainly the binging part. I need to study a lot more than what I do as well, but you're right, by the end of the day your mind is tired and you don't want to pick up a textbook & a pile of notes to study! You want to pick up a fun book and get lost in it- or just relax =).

    Your exercise is very inspiring! I bet you're gaining muscle and losing inches for sure. That's so cool how you're able to do 30 push-ups! If you can do 47 in 1 minute, you'll score the highest score on the Air Force woman's PT test!

    That's a great way to look at giving up food for Lent. Lately I've been looking at it as something I "have" to do, so thanks for that lovely reminder! It's not something I "have" to do, sacrificing should be something I want to do!

    Don't know if I told you on your last post, but I chose you for the "versatile blogger" award! :)

    ReplyDelete