My graduation party last night was a complete disaster for me. Not food wise, but I was just getting more and more depressed as the night wore on. People would ask me where I'm going to school in September, and I would have to say, "University of Toronto, Mississauga campus..." I always sound so depressed when I talk about it. That's why I don't like to talk about it. I'm staying at home. And when people find out I'm going to UTM, they're like, "But first year in residence is an experience!" And I tell them I can't afford it so they drop it. It's a lie my parents told me to justify not sending me. The truth of the matter is that they are possessive of me. My mom admitted it today. It hurt my parents so much to see me so depressed all night. They regret not sending me to U of Toronto, downtown. My mom says I can try for second year. I just really want to get away from this house of hell.
I ate pretty well. Resisted crap. I kept repeating in my head, "you're are 105, don't screw up. You want to get to 104 soon!" I had gone for lunch with my sister and cousin to watch the USA-Ghana game. My sister and I shared fajitas, my cousin had wings and fries. I thought I'd be safe with one fajita, but I ended up loving the taste, having two, and devouring the remaining of my cousin's fries. Christ. I bolted to the bathroom during the extended game time, and purged most of that crap. Came back perfectly normal. For dinner I had 1 chip, 6 baby carrots, 4 cucumber slices, a bite of chicken, and a spoon of rice. Pretty damn good, huh! Everytime I want to eat something, I ask myself if I want to lose weight.
I'm proud of myself. I'm losing weight. I'm going to apply for the job at the book store, Chapters. I'm going to keep myself busy, not eat, and away from my family.
I ate pretty well. Resisted crap. I kept repeating in my head, "you're are 105, don't screw up. You want to get to 104 soon!" I had gone for lunch with my sister and cousin to watch the USA-Ghana game. My sister and I shared fajitas, my cousin had wings and fries. I thought I'd be safe with one fajita, but I ended up loving the taste, having two, and devouring the remaining of my cousin's fries. Christ. I bolted to the bathroom during the extended game time, and purged most of that crap. Came back perfectly normal. For dinner I had 1 chip, 6 baby carrots, 4 cucumber slices, a bite of chicken, and a spoon of rice. Pretty damn good, huh! Everytime I want to eat something, I ask myself if I want to lose weight.
I'm proud of myself. I'm losing weight. I'm going to apply for the job at the book store, Chapters. I'm going to keep myself busy, not eat, and away from my family.
woot woot! so proud of you! and I'm staying home for my first two years of college too, i feel your pain!
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I was a first year at UTSC last year and lived at home, I don't mind, it helped me lose weight (didn't have to eat out).
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im sorry you arent able to go to the campus you want to, but at least your mom has half a mind to allow you to go to the downtown campus next semester. im also sorry that your party didnt go to well. i hope you got a lot of cash tho =] keep losing, you are my inspiration =]
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