106

Yesterday, I was good. Today I shall continue to be good. Haven't worked out yet, for some reason I really am starting to dread exercise, that's got to stop. I'm going with the assumption that I am 106 lb, because I weighed myself on Wii fit as 105.4 but that's minus 1 lb for clothes. I don't know. I thought I'd be sooo much more seeing as the doctor weighed me as 112 lb three weeks ago...But anyway, I'm that much closer to 95!

I came home about 30 minutes ago from the library, and saw my sister eating this Indian spicy rice that my mom makes and it is SOOO good, so I had a tiny plate of it with some chicken. Hopefully no one will be home tonight, so I can get away with skipping dinner, or just having a leaf of lettuce.
I can't wait until summer. My exam yesterday went pretty bad, that's what I get for not studying...But next week I have Calculus and dreaded Chemistry, I'm actually going to try for those. I just can't wait until summer so my parents can leave me alone for good, so I can TELL them, NO I DON'T FEEL LIKE EATING, RIGHT NOW! I just wish my parents didn't know that I had eating issues because now they don't treat me normally. They watch everything I eat, they press me about eating, they are always asking what I ate/eat. I'm not putting up with it anymore.

Yesterday, my parents actually told me that they're sad about the way I've been acting towards them. They said that they don't feel love from me, they find me acting so cold towards them, and I'm not as "daughterly" as most kids are with their parents, etc. They're sad about my coldness towards them. I'm not gonna deny it. I act mean towards them. It's not even a vocal mean. It's a silent, icy cold mean. I barely tell them anything and act emotionless to them. They deserve it, I mean, I hate them and all. If they weren't so nagging and annoying all the time, maybe it would be different. Ever since I was a small girl, they've been trying to get INTO my life, trying to snoop around. My mom says she's always had "spies" on me and my sister. She made it out like a joke, but I don't think so. Everything I've ever told my doctor, ex-therapist, ex-psychiatrist, even friends, my mom has found out. There is no way she could have found out unless she has spies. It could be that she read my diary, but I hide it...
I honestly never want to eat again. The only reason I'll eat is to keep from passing out. I can't wait to be under 100 lb...