Another good day. Weighed in at 102 lb. Sweet. 100 by Sunday? Not sure. I JUST remembered that I said I'd go to a friend's 18th birthday party on Saturday. Actually, I remembered, but I forgot that it would involve food. Oh shit, oh shit. It's at Scooters...the roller blading place. Oh my God. There's gonna be cake. And even worse: there might be pizza. I'm not sure what they'll be serving, but something along those lines probably. Shit on my face. I can say no to birthday cake because "I don't like icing, it's too sweet." I can get out of eating pizza by...I don't know. If I can't get out of it...I'll pull off the cheese and nibble and nibble and leave a huge chunk of crust. I'm NOT getting side-tracked.
I kinda felt sad today when I looked in the mirror because I have no bum and no breasts, while my thighs are the size of China. I get scared looking at my bare chest because of those chest bones and my tangerines for boobs. It's scary because there's virtually ZERO fat on my upper body. It's all in the thighs. I kid you not. Then again I usually like having tiny boobs. It's different. I'm not like most girls! I never want to be average. At the gym today, I did 30 minutes of intervals on the elliptical. It was hard, I'm not used to the elliptical. Then I went to the weight room and did 10 minutes of shoulders, then 10 minutes of back and assisted chin-ups. Basically, every guy in the gym stared at me. Me, the only girl that ever dares to enter the weight room, this tiny little girl with bones sticking out of her chest and muscles popping out of her shoulders. WTF. I'd stare, too. Finished the workout with stretching and 5 laps around the track.
Just to answer a few questions:
That friend of mine who I think is "one of us," I'm not sure if I'll be talking to her about all this stuff, yet. I am not an open person and I don't trust people easily. For all I know, my mother could have set her up. So I'm going to wait until I have more information.
How do I manage to do all that crazy exercising with my minimal eating? I guess, over the years, I've built up a "tolerance" to it. Like maybe, my body's gotten used to hardcore calorie burning on so few cals. Maybe. Usually towards the end of the first hour of exercise I start to lose balance and my eyes blank out a bit and I gasp for air, but nothing serious. Not to the point where I fall over and/or pass out. I always push myself. 90 MINUTES, GO, GO. My mind is stronger than my body. What's the phrase? 'Mind over matter'? Or am I thinking of 'Where there's a will, there's a way'? Haha, whatever.
PS. I am so in love with all of you. Thanks for supporting me, girls!
oooh parties with pizza and cake...that would definitely be my undoing. but i know you've got the willpower to avoid it. pull out the "i had to go out to dinner with my family before-hand and now i'm absolutely stuffed" excuse. works every time :P
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102 is awesome :) 100 is attainable! you'll be ok at the party, just explain that you don't feel well and don't want anything too greasy to upset your stomach any further. and don't worry about your body, i mean the weight has to shed off *somewhere* right? good luck <3
ReplyDeleteMy body is shaped sorta the same way...my ribs will be all poking out but I hardly have a gap between my thighs, what the heck haha. Best of luck at the party!
ReplyDeleteOh no, cake and pizza. Our beloved friends, huh. Maybe you could say that you've already eaten something? And then try to find something very small and healthy, if possible.
ReplyDeleteDon't pressure yourself about reaching 100 pounds. Of course, it looks like a big goal, but still, every single little pound you loose is already a success. So celebrate those aswell!
Wish you all the best, I'm curious about how the party will be! Love,
Merely
Say you're vegan! Tell enough people and trust me, they'll watch you and hold you to it--then, should you even want to break, you can stay away from the food because you know everyone thinks you can't have the food. Voila!
ReplyDeleteI'm also shaped like that--"pear shaped", I think it's called. It sucks, right? Oh well, tiny bobs for the win!
As far as the pushing yourself at the gym goes, be careful! When I had a gym membership, that would happen to me, and it's terrifying. Plus, if you pass out, way too many bad things could happen. Not to mention, they won't let you continue to work out. You'd have to fill out a safety report and everything. Not. Fun. So be careful, love!
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102? Congrats! You're doing amazing, keep it up! I agree with Miss Creant though, don't push it so hard at the gym that you pass out - there's more to life than that!
ReplyDeleteI think the vegan idea is good :)
xxx
haha I've got a really weird spot on my body, my hip bones look like they are about to burst through my skin but my stomach pokes out between them xD
ReplyDeleteI went just vegitarian for a few months, I'm thinking about doing it again it really helps! So much you can't eat and a lot of people really do hold you to it lol
102 is amazing :) Try not to think about the party untill it happens, you will only get worked up, just keep thinking your at 102 now, and you want to keep it that way! or lower :) And dw about not having boobs or a bum, neiter do i! it sucks! xx
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