But only for a second. After that second, I came back and realized, holy fucking shit I’m being dragged on this thing. It was bad. People around me stared and some tech guy started asking me if I was okay. I almost had a heart attack, thank you very much. But me, being psycho, decided to keep going. Then I noticed some blood rolling down my hand, so dammit, I had to get off the thing. My finger is cut pretty deep, but I gained 3 lb over the weekend, something has to be done, so I went to the back of the gym and spent some time on the elliptical. One would think the elliptical is pretty safe right, but NO, I almost fell off that stupid thing, too! Christ, I was getting so tired and weak. So I stopped. The whole reason for this gym fiasco is due to my tiredness. NOT because I haven’t eaten. Before I even got to the gym, I was thinking I shouldn’t go because I feel so tired, but I did anyway since I was feeling so fat. Now I’m just depressed.
Yes, I’m depressed because I only spend 20 minutes working out and it was only cardio. It’s actually not even funny how fat I feel. No matter. I’m not going to binge. (This is a HUGE temptation to binge right now.) I’m not going to let this sadness get in my way. Seriously. That was the worst weekend of my life. I’m so glad it’s over. I suppose it’s only made me stronger, but still. 3 lb gain…in 2 days… It’s okay, I’m strong, today’s been good. I’ll be okay. I’ll make it to 102 this week. I’m going to try my hardest.
Oh, ya! I LOVE my followers! Every single one of you! I am so thankful for your support and words of wisdom. You make me smile to myself. It’s a good feeling. I think I would go insane without all of you. I’m always here for any of you. xox
im sorry u feel so depressed;(
ReplyDeleteim feeling like that today, but hey! tomorrow is another day. and well done on your controlling not to binge thats really strong i know you can do it and you know u can do it! ...and 20 mins is better than no exercise so that is good! just stay strong girly xxx
get some sleep! I have the problem of sleeping through my classes, for some reason sleep trumphs everything to me.. plus the time I spend sleeping is time I don't spend thinking about how hungry I am. You'll get to 102!
ReplyDeletexo Chloe
i'm sorry about the weekend hun. but just think, weight comes off a fast as you gain it! you'll probs lose that 3lb after 2 days of your normal regime :) you should definitely get some sleep and take care of yourself - hearing that you passed out at the gym worries me! and glmx is right - 20 mins is better than nothing.
ReplyDeletestay strong xx
SHIT babe! i hope you're 'less tired' soon- have u thought of caffiene pills? x
ReplyDeletei hope ur not too badly hurt
xoxo
caffeine pills on an empty stomach equals the runs. so watch out. lol.
ReplyDeleteouch. blacking out is terrible. i've never had anything bad like that happen. i mean i've felt dizzy, but never passed out.
sorry about the +3 pounds. im sure it'll be gone in no time.
Thats scary! It happened to me a few times too. One time I was on the stair stepper and just fell right off lol, SO EMBARASSING. Take care of yourself and get some rest. Im sorry you're feeling so down, but tomorrows another day!
ReplyDeleteWow, I'm soo sorry :(
ReplyDeleteYou'll feel better soon. I promise. <3
All my love,
-Molly
Don't worry about blacking out! they'll be keeping an eye on you at the gym now though! xxxx
ReplyDeleteGet some rest my dear. 3lbs will come right off - but it'll be a lot slower if you fall off a machine and break your leg! xx
ReplyDeleteLove you too hun ! Go get some rest and then you can go to the gym again, i dont wanna see you get hurt :)
ReplyDeleteget some rest sweetie :( that's pretty worrying
ReplyDelete