I exercised at the gym for over an hour today. 25 straight minutes of running, then 15 minute abs, then weight training. I did back, shoulders, and triceps. Then I ran into a guy friend at the gym. He's just one of the kids in my bio lab group. For some odd reason, I see him EVERYWHERE. No exaggeration, seriously. Anyway, I saw him while I was weight training, which was funny because just last Friday we were talking about how most girls are afraid of weightlifting because they don't want to get big (not applicable to me). So, he says hi and looks at me in complete and obvious awe. Keep in mind that I'm red-faced and dripping with sweat. Then he says, "Most girls don't work out...!" Also keep in mind that I'm the only girl in the weight room and I'm a billion times tinier than everyone around me and I look like a fucking twig. Then I laugh and shoot some crap like, "I'm different, that's what I'm going for, all bulky and muscle." I laughed in my head and thought, 'hahaha, acccctually, I'm fucking anorexic.' Then the guy says, "Nawwww, you just want tone." I dropped it and while I was doing reps I could still feel his perplexed face on me.
All in all, I had a really good workout. Something interesting: every time I felt depressed today, I thought about losing weight and becoming really skinny. Every time I felt mad, I thought about becoming painfully thin to spite people. Today, I saw a pretty girl eating a chicken wrap, with one of her guy friends beside her. They were talking, nodding at each other, smiling, laughing, having a good time. They looked normal. NOW, firstly, if it were me, I'd be having a fucking heart attack eating that wrap. Second, I can't eat in front of other people, EXPECIALLY boys. Third, if I WERE to eat in front of others, I'd be trying too hard to be discreet about it. The whole scene completely depressed me.
Anyway, today ending up being a 600 day. That means...tomorrow is a 200 day. Crap, hopefully I can do it. Damn, I'm gonna need a lot of caffeine. Wish me luck! Oh, and my gosh, thank you everyone who commented on my last entry! I smiled so much reading those comments. xo
That sounds like an awesome workout!
ReplyDeleteKeep up that amazing work. :)
oh, I totally relate to the eating in front of others thing. i suck at being normal. i might not be exactelly anorexic or necessarily thin, but ever normal.
ReplyDeletegood luck with your plan, lovely!