To Be or Not to Be

I want people to physically turn their heads when I walk by. I want them to think to themselves 'she is so skinny...' I want to be pure, no fat, just skin stretched over bones. That's what I want. That "coveted" title of anorexic. But I am not anorexic, I don't know if I have an eating disorder. I know that I was diagnosed with bulimia two years ago. But that was two years ago. I don't know anymore. All I can focus on, is what I WANT. Not anorexia, but that thinness associated with anorexia. THAT's what I want. So time to focus on other things. Eating should not be the issue here. Eating should never be a concern. It shouldn't be problematic because you're not supposed to be eating if you want to be skinny!

Basically, I'm going to stay with the plan I've been talking about in the past few blogs because it works for me. I just can't slip up. I am going to stay focused. Focused. In addition to the no eating after 8 PM, I'm eliminating carbs (MEANING BREAD and RICE and other refined/processed sugars) after 6 PM. No exceptions. Gotta lose more weight. I need to SEE some progress by Friday. I hope all you girls are doing okay, keeping up with your goals. Every time I see one of your lovely comments on my blogs, I'm that much more motivated to keep going. Although I can't say that I have an ED, I am a huge supporter of the ED community. Stay strong!