I'm tired of going back and forth. I want to find my own space. My own space in life. I cannot keep yo-yo-ing between hundreds of different lives. I want something of my own. I need to find out exactly who I am. I need to discover that person and show the world who I really am. Going at the rate I am, I'll never have real friends, never find love...never have a happy ending...or a happy
anything! I need to find and establish a sense of
belonging to myself. Right now, I have no idea who the people raging inside my soul are. I am a hundred different people, depending on my mood or the people I'm around. I don't want to deal with that kind of strain on my soul anymore.
So, I need to sit down and think and write everything down. I need to figure out who I am once and for all. I do not want to eat. I don't want to binge. Ever. I hate eating junk. It turns me into a person I do not want to be. I don't want to be sad. Eating junk makes me sad. What possesses me to binge and
make myself sad? I don't want that anymore. It's time for a permanent change.
Today is my witness. Everyone reading this is my witness. I will make this better. I will figure this out and shed this excess skin, this excess fat. I will be the person I've always wanted to be. I'll be beautiful. Thin. Self-controlled. That concert on Sunday night really has brought things into perspective for me. I wish I could have real friends. Ones like me. Who feel the same way about music. I don't remember the last time a boy liked me. It was almost 4 years ago, maybe. I don't even
know boys, anymore. I want to be beautiful, in every possible way. I want to be around beautiful people. I want to see beauty in life. I want to feel magical. I hope things get better for me when I start university in September. I really hope so.
Lay low, dream high. 
So, I need to sit down and think and write everything down. I need to figure out who I am once and for all. I do not want to eat. I don't want to binge. Ever. I hate eating junk. It turns me into a person I do not want to be. I don't want to be sad. Eating junk makes me sad. What possesses me to binge and make myself sad? I don't want that anymore. It's time for a permanent change.
Today is my witness. Everyone reading this is my witness. I will make this better. I will figure this out and shed this excess skin, this excess fat. I will be the person I've always wanted to be. I'll be beautiful. Thin. Self-controlled. That concert on Sunday night really has brought things into perspective for me. I wish I could have real friends. Ones like me. Who feel the same way about music. I don't remember the last time a boy liked me. It was almost 4 years ago, maybe. I don't even know boys, anymore. I want to be beautiful, in every possible way. I want to be around beautiful people. I want to see beauty in life. I want to feel magical. I hope things get better for me when I start university in September. I really hope so.
Lay low, dream high. 
Ohh an optimistic post =) Good luck <3
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