Crush

Last night, after realizing that the boy in the band will probably never like me, I decided that I need to do several things. I need to stop Facebook stalking, stop listening to his CD, and stop eating. I need to lose a shitload of weight. I need to feel a happiness again. My own sort of happiness, my own reality. Weight-loss will make me feel better. I can't believe I was developing a legitimate crush on this boy. It hurt really bad when I figured out (using Facebook) that he is getting close with another girl. I totally forgot what it feels like to have a crush. Anyway, so I'm gonna move on and lose a lot of weight by not eating unnecessarily.

I'm really tired of my "eating-it-because-it's-there" bullshit. Just because there is chocolate, bread, and almond butter around doesn't mean that I have to eat it! From now on, fruits and veggies will satisfy hunger. I'm sick of fat, especially. I think I'm going to stop eating meat. It's unnecessary fat. I'll only eat it when my parents are around so they won't bitch. Okay, so I'm gonna try to stay positive today! I'll be patient and await results. I think keeping a positive attitude will help me stay strong.