I have been thinking a lot about the things I wrote about in my previous post. I've been thinking hard. I've been trying to set my mind straight. Food is unnecessary! Food is unnecessary! I'm working on this...Today, I was driving and some man didn't brake in time and slammed into my bumper. I was happily on my way to ballet. Needless to say, I missed ballet. And I am extremely sad that this happened to me.
While I was walking today (in and out of the university workshop, to and from my car at the scene of the accident, and to and from my car at the police station) I was more aware than ever of my thunder thighs. They were just thundering around. I was so embarrassed of them as I walked. It was disgusting to feel my thighs thundering around like that. I'm not going to be wearing my short shorts for a while. I don't want to eat. I don't want to be so bored that I feel like eating. That's just stupid. So, tomorrow, I'm going to read and read East of Eden. I need to finish it before September. I'll just stay in my room all day and read and drink water to avoid eating. My parents won't bother me because of my accident, hopefully. I'm making a list of goals. The first goal is to eliminate the sources of fat in my diet. Those are: almond butter, chicken, beef, and olive butter.
The main thing is to realize that I DO NOT need to eat "that." I just don't. So, walk away. Don't be an idiot. I'll be back on track tomorrow. I need to get this right. I need to be 101 lb or less by September 1. I don't know what I am now, but I'm probably still 106. Gross. Anyway. I'm not feeling to optimistic these days. I need to get over that guy. The one in the band. It's not healthy.
Sorry to hear about your accident.
ReplyDeleteAt least you're okay.
Thankyou for your comment. I feel so much more calm now after working out and reading everyone's input.
Whether you decide to eat or not to, I'm always going to be here supporting your choices.
Darling, you weigh 106 pounds, I just can't imagine your thighs thundering. I really can't.
ReplyDeleteOf course, it's a good thing to avoid things like butter and such, but remember, not eating gives a higher risk of binging then.
But whatever you decide to do, I believe in yourself, try to do that too!
Stay strong, kisses and hugs for you,
Merely
Oh no =( I'm glad you didn't get hurt.
ReplyDeleteReading is lovely, isn't it <3
And I'm sure you can be 101lbs or less by September, just be careful.