Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Thou Shall Not Gain Weight

I actually don't even know why I eat. Yuck. I feel like shit for eating all that almond butter just a minute ago. I'm gonna ditch dinner tonight. Since I don't have my car for the time being, my mom will have to drive me to ballet tonight at 5:30 and my dad will pick me up at 7 30. My class ends at 7, so I'll just feed my parents a story that I got hungry waiting for a ride so I had a poppy seed bagel with cream cheese from the cafe. That will get me out of dinner. I'll eat half of the whole wheat spaghetti my mom made especially for me for lunch, and flush the other half down the toilet. I'll have an apple before ballet. Lately, I haven't been getting enough fruits and veggies.
And, oh, crap! My dad is taking our whole stupid family to the beach tomorrow. I love the beach. I hate the food. There is no way I am going to get out of eating a goddam burger tomorrow. It's just not gonna happen. Dammit. Last week, I managed to get us out of going to the beach because of the car accident. I hope it rains like mad tomorrow. I really don't want that burger...Hopefully I can get away with eating half of it, or just the bun, or...I don't even know. Or I can "take a long walk" after eating and purge somewhere in the woods. I just cannot bear to ruin the progress I've made in the past 3 days. I love being able to feel my ribs as I slide my hands down my side. I love my hip bones and tiny wrists. It's also nice to feel comfortable about wearing a tank top because of my toned arms.
Since I'll be extra early and saying later after ballet tonight, I'll buy a day pass for the gym and use the cardio machines for as long as I can. Damn, I'm motivatied to lose weight.

2 comments:

  1. That one burger will not destroy everything, remind yourself of that. But maybe, you could get away with something else, some veggies maybe? I hope you get to do what you want to. It's good to hear that you are feeling positive about loosing weight, keep going!
    Love,
    Merely

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  2. good luck! xoxo love the thinspo pics u post!

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