Tuesday, August 31, 2010

I Have Friends In Holy Spaces

I have no idea how I'm going to tell my parents that I am not going to eat starches after 5 pm from now on. They will go all ape-shit on me. They'll think I'm trying to lose weight the unhealthy way and that I'm going back to my old "rubbish" and all that crap. I mean, my family's habits are actually really unhealthy. Why can't I be healthy? There's nothing wrong with that! They'll have to deal with it, because I don't give a shit how they feel or what they have to say. This is my life and I'm going to live it the way I want to. This is my life. It's all I have. So, like Adeline said, tomorrow marks the start of a new month. A new start. A chance to make everything better. Better than I ever could have imagined. I'm going to lose weight, and be everything I wanted to be. Thin and lovely. I start uni orientation tomorrow. I'm going to be a university student. Smart. Classy. Friendly. Pretty. I haven't had guy friends in 3 years. I don't really know how to act around them any more, so I'm hoping I'll meet some guys! Wish me luck!
I'm turning to my friends in holy spaces. The Dark Passesger. Ana. They'll make sure I stay on track. They'll remind me who I really am. That I have chosen this life. That THIS is ALL I HAVE.

"I just know there's something dark in me and I hide it. I certainly don't talk about it, but it's there always, this Dark Passenger. And when he's driving, I feel alive, half sick with the thrill of complete wrongness. I don't fight him, I don't want to. He's all I've got. Nothing else could love me, not even... especially not me. Or is that just a lie the Dark Passenger tells me?"- Dexter Morgan

Watching old Dexter episodes, prepping for Season 5 on September 26, keeps me "in check." In a way, I can relate to the guy. Oh, and I have 55 followers! I love all of you. Your support means the world.

2 comments:

  1. Omg girl.. your blog looks great!
    Beautiful thinspo!
    I think your gonna find some thinspo at my blog that you like! :)

    Keep up the good work :)

    Love, Anna

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  2. I like the Dexter refrence and the panic at the disco song title. Seems like a blog I'm going to enjoy. Smile and best of luck with your parents.

    ReplyDelete